SERIES: Taking Care of YOU! Confronting Loneliness and Taking Action for a Happier YOU

We’ve all been there at some point in our lives. None of us are immune. It can be a deeply personal feeling. Whether it is an emotional experience from being physically alone, a feeling of being disconnected from others, unfulfilled by the people we associate with, or a real or perception of being socially disconnected, it can be extremely painful and detrimental to our physical and mental health (increasing risk of developing infections, heart disease, cancer, as well as mental health issues).

Ipsos MORI, one of the best known survey organizations in the UK, conducted a survey on loneliness in 2018 in the USA of over 20,000 adults. They found that young adults between the ages of 18-25 are the loneliest, by age, in our national population. More recent studies have also concluded that Generation Z is the loneliest, including one survey that determined that almost 60% of adults ages 18-25 have experienced extreme loneliness (all the time) compared to 36% of other age groups.  It’s also important to note there is a close connection between loneliness and depression.

There are several factors that impact generational loneliness. The following are the more common causes:

• Friendship issues or lack of companionship
• Trust issues
• Feeling: poorly understood, left out, vulnerable, different, loss of identity, unworthy of being loved, unauthentic
• Insecurity about inner self
• Family relationships or changes in family dyamics
• Shyness
• Social media dependance
• Pandemics (quarantines and physical distancing intensifies loneliness for all generations)
• Overwhelmed by invasion of information (Internet, mobile phones, TV news, influential movies, etc.)
• Uncertainty about the future (career path, job security, value to employer, etc.)
• Perceived lack of family, friends, colleagues, or employer support.

So, enough already!  Let’s confront this “bad boy”, loneliness face-to-face, and get you back on the road to happiness!

RECOMMENDATIONS for Confronting Loneliness and Taking Action for a Happier YOU

1.       Stop with the pity parties (they’re like a rocking chair, it doesn’t get you to where you want to be)!

2.       Avoid being so critical of yourself (It’s much easier and more rewarding to be kind to yourself!)

3.       When in a loneliness frame of mind immediately tell yourself that you recognize the need for change and you are going to make positive changes, how small or big! Then do it! No procrastinating allowed!

4.       Minimize your social media usage for several weeks and notice the difference in your feeling lonely

5.       Prepare yourself to help others that may be experiencing similar feelings as you are and give them what you think you need the most.  Don’t be surprised to find the results will perk you up!

6.       Proactive planning. On your daily calendar, if you have something scheduled that you’re not looking forward to, then plan something after that tough day that will put a smile on your face! It’s all about Taking Care of YOU!

7.       Change your mood with a pet! Don’t have one? Stop by a local pet shop or shelter and visit all the lonely pets. They will be happy to see you and share their affection. Research has shown that having a pet can lower blood pressure as well as improve your state of mind!

8.       Watch a feel-good movie,like “Under the Tuscan Sun”.

9.       Having a hobby or pastime you really enjoy can engage you in such a way that you will forget all about your loneliness. It could be reading a fictional or how-to book, gardening, learning how to play chess, etc.

10.      Take the initiative and reconnect with someone that you haven’t spoken to in a while. Phone them to set up a face-to-face meeting (coffee, tea, or meal date). You may find that person has also been experiencing loneliness.

By staying isolated and being quiet about your loneliness it’s more likely your loneliness will worsen. Take Care of YOU by courageously reaching out for help. Take that first step TODAY!